The Rejection List
The Things We Left Behind in 2013
There’s a chance some of the products you’re about to see will go on to be huge successes, forever
enshrining their inventors in the pantheon of scientific geniuses... But don’t count on it. These are the
worst ideas we’ve seen this year. Enjoy responsibly.
Chest Hair Fur Coat
Quick, think of the most horrifying thing you’ve ever seen. Now know that it’s child’s play compared
to this: a fur coat made entirely of chest hair, created to help a British dairy company promote chocolate
milk for men. We assure you that no Tom Sellecks were harmed in the making of this coat.
Getting mugged is no reason not to look fabulous. Or so the thinking must go from those responsible for
Blingsting, a line of rhinestone-bedazzled pepper-spray key chains. Then again, maybe they just help you
escape as your attacker doubles over in laughter.
To look upon these rainbow-, tiger- and leopard-print (you so rarely get both these days) leggings
for men is to know with perfect clarity that the human race will come to no good end. Even David Lee Roth
feels awkward around these.
Pinstripe Dress Pant Sweatpants
We’ve got to confess, we were on the fence about the Pinstripe Dress Pant Sweatpants. In the right light,
if people are far enough away, they almost—no. Just no. You should never have to worry about fooling
everyone into thinking your dress pants are real. It’s just... no.
A year from now, the world will look back at the advent of this man-child-size Big Wheel as the dawning of
the age of the tragicomic DUI. And maybe that actually makes this thing worth it.