Your visage.

Your mug.

The front of your head.

We’d just feel a lot better about this crazy thing called life if someone made a vase out of it.

And guess what, friends? We feel pretty goddamn good today.

It’s called Fahz, which is hilarious, and it’s a 3D-printed vase whose edges look exactly like your facial profile.

Let’s go to the fake press conference about it:

A: Ma’am, what’s your question?

Q: A face vase? Who wants a vase of their face?

A: Who doesn’t? You in the back.

Q: How do they make this thing?

A: Glad you asked. You send them a photo of your profile, then they do some quick geometry and create a 3D model, which then goes to a 3D printer, which spits out a vase that looks like your face. Next question.

Q: Who’s responsible for this miracle?

A: A couple of Brooklyn designers who were looking for a Mother’s Day gift. Yes, you in the porkpie.

Q: Bill Bailey, Vase Aficionado. Can you comment on the website’s claim that they won’t ship until May?

A: We’re not sure we appreciate the negative implications there. But yes, this was a super-fully-funded Kickstarter, and they’re only in the preorder phase right now. You there, holding the vase that isn’t of your face.

Q: But I want it now.

A: Patience, sir. Patience.