We’re lovers. You know that. But every now and again, something comes across our desks that just seems... suspicious. Because of the tremendous material upside to all our lives if these claims pan out, we at times put ourselves in harm’s way to investigate. Albeit skeptically.

We call it: Skeptical Investigation. (Trademark pending.)

THE CLAIM
Two new local booze delivery apps, Drizly (by way of Boston) and Minibar (by way of... not Boston), will speedily furnish you with the liquid fun you desire, right to your door. And you make this happen with your phone.

THE INVESTIGATION
The thirsty proletarians of UD Labs fired up the apps, which work in pretty obvious, app-like ways. After much discussion and some chart presentations, they settled on ordering bourbon and pinot noir from each.

Next, the following directives were executed:

1. Synchronize watches.

2. Smash the “in case of booze emergency” glass on the lab’s control panel.

3. Simultaneously insert and turn red “order” keys (read: touch the “order” buttons on each app).

And the race was on.

THE CONCLUSION
The Drizly order arrived in a blazing 28 minutes, with 100% order accuracy (just don’t attempt to use their tracking function). And despite an admittedly superior selection, Minibar failed to meet their 60-minutes-or-less claim and sauntered in a full 73 minutes behind Drizly for a total time of 101 minutes.

So... that wasn’t close.