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01/14/14

Cupid Is as Cupid Does
Valentine’s Day Requires These Tables

Today marks a month. Yeah, until Valentine’s Day—only the most spiritually meaningful holiday of the year... Uh, right. Anyway, today, you reserve a table for this blessed celebration of all things red and cherubic. So allow us to present the sexiest new tables in town. Go get ’em, tiger.

UD - The Snug, the Shakespeare

The Snug, the Shakespeare

You Require: Absolute privacy.
You’ll Receive: A walled-off booth in a Midtown basement named for the greatest sonnet writer who ever lived. There’s a small window you can slide open for direct access to your servers. If this snug’s a-rockin’...
411:
The Shakespeare at The William, 24 E 39th St (between Park and Madison), 646-837-6779
UD - Sofa #3, PLAY

Sofa #3, PLAY

You Require: A touch of naughty humor.
You’ll Receive: Loose Women & Pickpockets (that’s a drink) while you charmingly feign subtly extending your arm around your date’s shoulder. This occurs in the comfort of a leather sofa, surrounded by erotic art and books with crude illustrations drawn in them.
411:
PLAY at the Museum of Sex, 1 E 27th St (near 5th), 212-447-7529
UD - Table #509, Margaux

Table #509, Margaux

You Require: A charming spring evening. In a garden. In February.
You’ll Receive: Exactly that. Sure, it’s indoors. But look, there’s a window and vines and squid-ink bucatini with Dungeness crab. Classic spring garden in February.
411:
Margaux at The Marlton Hotel, 5 W 8th St (between 5th and 6th), 212-321-0111
UD - The Sofas, Manhattan Cricket Club

The Sofas, Manhattan Cricket Club

You Require: A barely lit, smoking-jacket-friendly situation where the word “plush” really means something.
You’ll Receive: A gold-brocaded library with a black tufted-leather sofa perch therein. There will be Boulevardiers, seafood towers and a large cricket paddle. Which, maybe they’ll sell you for later.
411:
Manhattan Cricket Club above Burke & Wills, 226 W 79th St (near Broadway), 646-823-9252
UD - The Classroom, Stardust Lounge

The Classroom, Stardust Lounge

You Require: A place where all your wildest (if a little on the nose) fantasies can come true.
You’ll Receive: A tiny, private classroom where the lesson of the day, and every day, is one of cocktails and karaoke. Plaid skirts and kneesocks not included.
411:
Stardust Lounge at Maison O, 98 Kenmare St (between Mulberry and Cleveland), 212-274-9898
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Photo, The Shakespeare, PLAY, Margaux, Manhattan Cricket Club: Oleg March; Maison O: Kevin Devine

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