Cupid Is as Cupid Does Valentine’s Day Requires These Tables

Today marks a month. Yeah, until Valentine’s Day—only the most spiritually meaningful holiday of the year... Uh, right. Anyway, today, you reserve a table for this blessed celebration of all things red and cherubic. So allow us to present the sexiest new tables in town. Go get ’em, tiger.

UD - The Snug, the Shakespeare

The Snug, the Shakespeare

You Require: Absolute privacy.
You’ll Receive: A walled-off booth in a Midtown basement named for the greatest sonnet writer who ever lived. There’s a small window you can slide open for direct access to your servers. If this snug’s a-rockin’...


The Shakespeare at The William, 24 E 39th St (between Park and Madison), 646-837-6779

UD - Sofa #3, PLAY

Sofa #3, PLAY

You Require: A touch of naughty humor.
You’ll Receive: Loose Women & Pickpockets (that’s a drink) while you charmingly feign subtly extending your arm around your date’s shoulder. This occurs in the comfort of a leather sofa, surrounded by erotic art and books with crude illustrations drawn in them.


PLAY at the Museum of Sex, 1 E 27th St (near 5th), 212-447-7529

UD - Table #509, Margaux

Table #509, Margaux

You Require: A charming spring evening. In a garden. In February.
You’ll Receive: Exactly that. Sure, it’s indoors. But look, there’s a window and vines and squid-ink bucatini with Dungeness crab. Classic spring garden in February.


Margaux at The Marlton Hotel, 5 W 8th St (between 5th and 6th), 212-321-0111

UD - The Sofas, Manhattan Cricket Club

The Sofas, Manhattan Cricket Club

You Require: A barely lit, smoking-jacket-friendly situation where the word “plush” really means something.
You’ll Receive: A gold-brocaded library with a black tufted-leather sofa perch therein. There will be Boulevardiers, seafood towers and a large cricket paddle. Which, maybe they’ll sell you for later.


Manhattan Cricket Club above Burke & Wills, 226 W 79th St (near Broadway), 646-823-9252

UD - The Classroom, Stardust Lounge

The Classroom, Stardust Lounge

You Require: A place where all your wildest (if a little on the nose) fantasies can come true.
You’ll Receive: A tiny, private classroom where the lesson of the day, and every day, is one of cocktails and karaoke. Plaid skirts and kneesocks not included.


Stardust Lounge at Maison O, 98 Kenmare St (between Mulberry and Cleveland), 212-274-9898

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