Well, he’s real.
He’s in Brooklyn. And he’s made you some chocolate nachos...
Introducing Fine & Raw Chocolate Factory. We’re confident you’ve figured out what it is. And it’s opening up for you and other kids from one to 92 Friday... in Bushwick.
Yeah, it’s pretty much how you’d imagine a chocolate factory to be—the rich scent of cacao beans, some machinery, a unionized elf workforce, a frosting cloud, a little area where you can grab an espresso and watch chocolate being made, a chocolate jungle, a German guy.
Not all of that is true, but enough of it is to make the trip worthwhile.
The owner refers to himself as a “chocolate wizard.” He’s the best kind of lunatic. And he can tell you which province of Madagascar a chocolate is from just by smelling it... probably.
He’s got a little lab in the back, where there are experiments in the field of chocolate nachos just sitting around where any old Slugworth could find them.
Anyway, you’ll come here to grab some Brazilian-bean blend and coffee poured by someone who’s known as a cult barista around these parts (we are not kidding). Come spring, you’ll be able to take it alfresco in the jungle of chocolate trees they’re planting out back.
That one’s definitely real.