The Office
Re: Your Holiday Party

We find it alarming that as the years go by, fewer and fewer office parties are being held at actual offices. Traded instead for the of-the-moment bar or restaurant, the office party is in danger of losing its distinct charm—the fax machine as coaster, the boss's office as setting for an ill-advised tryst, the copy machine as fodder for your most infantile colleagues.

As we embark upon holiday season this week, the scene-setters at Grand Opening (whose previous hits include DRV-IN and PONG) are doing their best to ensure that you have an appropriate location to get sloshed in front of your co-workers. Starting December 3rd, and now taking reservations at a scant $400 per party, Office Party will be your office away from office.

Located in a former East Village social club (139 Norfolk is still DRV-IN), Office Party is your chance to throw the perfect outdated office party. The space has been fully Dunder-Mifflin'd to ensure the most depressing aspects of offices of yore are accounted for—boxy beige computers, cubicles, a PowerPoint projection system, a "formerly state-of-the-art copier" and plenty of cut-rate decorations. And if your co-workers aren't bearable on their own (we heard Ron from Sales is a hoot), there are a slew of additional options to spice things up—including a motivational speaker, a tuba quartet and mystery gifts.

We can smell the spiked eggnog from here.