UD Profile

In the wake of the Spitzer drama, we head to the one woman who predicted the scandal before it, uh, erupted. She’s a celeb psychic, been featured in NYMag as one of the city’s top seers and just a couple months ago predicted on NPR that Spitzer wasn’t "clean" and wasn’t going to finish out his term. We sat down with the brash-talking Judi Hoffman in her UES cat-filled, leopard-spotted apartment to get some more predictions about politics, celebs, and NY real estate.

UD: What's next for Spitzer?
JH: Nothing. He'll be disbarred. He won't do jail time. Unless his wife helps, he'll be hiding out for a very long time.

UD: How's the new guy?
JH: He'll do fine. He'll serve out his term.

UD: What's next for Kristen, aka Ashley Alexandra Dupré?
JH: She'll get a movie deal, book deal, product endorsements... This will change her life for the better.

UD: Any more predictions on NY politics?
JH: Bloomberg won't get married.

UD: Where do psychics hang out in their spare time?
JH: I have never hung out with another psychic in my life and never want to. I'm not like other psychics—I don't do yoga, I smoke, I drink. I'm the Anthony Bourdain of psychics.

UD: Whose reading would you like to do most?
JH: Bill Clinton. I would do anything to read Bill Clinton. I love him. My life was so good in the 90's, my unconscious was attracted to him. And he's adorable. He's still hot. I'm his type too—a Jewish girl with big tits.

UD: What are your favorite things to do readings on?
JH: It's like Freud said, it all boils down to love and work, or as I like to say, f***ing and money. And in New York, you add real estate.

UD: What are some weird things you've been asked for readings on?
JH: People ask if they should paint first in the Hamptons or wallpaper in New York. They ask me to choose a hairstylist. I also give people very specific sexual advice.

UD: What's the forecast for the Meatpacking District?
JH: It will become the new Upper East Side. You will never want to go there to hang out.

UD: What about the LES?
JH: It's way too oversaturated, and the unlabeled restaurants thing is going to be over, the kind where you need the phone number or a psychic to find the place. Everything I say about restaurants, though, doesn't apply to Momofuku. I love Momofuku. After the atomic bomb, all that will be left will be cockroaches and Momofuku.

UD: What will be the next hot neighborhood to go out?
JH: Harlem. East Harlem, the area around 116^th and Park.

UD: Where's the real estate market going—should we be buying or renting?
JH: You should be buying right now if you can. The next year to year and a half will be flat. Then in 2010 we'll see a big step up in prices again. The place to buy is Harlem.

UD: What will be Steve Jobs' next Apple invention?
JH: If I knew that, I'd be on 5^th Avenue instead of 3^rd! Maybe some form of vibrator or sex toy.

UD: New sex trends in the future?
JH: Cross-dressing will become more accepted. The girl-on-girl faux-lesbian thing is going to go away.

UD: And finally, where are our best chances of running into Scarlett Johansson?
JH: Anywhere below 14^th Street. But you better act soon because I think she'll be off the market soon—by September, someone very well known.