Things to do for July 22, 2010

The Weekender

Evil Fortune Cookies, Loud Cars and the Heat

The weekend never breaks a sweat.

BRAND-NEW PERKS

Get the Rock Star Treatment at Lollapalooza. Also: Scotch Chocolate Bars.

This week, Perks is giving you the rock star treatment at Lollapalooza: 20% off your stay at the Hard Rock Hotel Chicago, liberal use of their Gibson loaner guitars, gratis bottles and exclusive access to the after-parties. Also: you’ll get 40% off your next purchase of six scotch chocolate bars. You can get behind just about anything when the words scotch and bar are involved.

FLOCK OFF

Your Friends Are Late

Over the years, you’ve undoubtedly acquired a sterling reputation for punctuality. Translation: you wait around on your friends—at the movies, at work, at beer summits with the president. Here to help: the new iPhone app Where the Flock, which shows you how far away they are and how much longer until they get where you are, all on a live map. Kind of like Pac-Man, with less ghosts.

PURE EVIL

Introducing the Evil Fortune Cookie

Ah, the fortune cookie—never quite as fun as you hope it will be. (“Flattery will go far tonight.” Thanks, Confucius.) So it’s time to take another, nastier approach. Which is where these things come in—they come with an anti-fortune inside. Something like “Your friends don’t really like you.” It’s like Confucius crossed with Don Rickles.

SHIRT TAILS

What You’ll Wear Today

There’s something in the air today. That’s right—humidity. Which brings us to Sleeves, a website that gives you the weather forecast by telling you how long of sleeves you’ll need for the day. It’s looking like tank top weather’s sticking around awhile, but we positively cannot wait for three-quarter sleeve weather.

STAMP IT

Signing Documents with Your Face

You’re a busy person. A lot of papers come across your desk, desperate for your approval. And some, you just rubber stamp. And now you can do that literally, with a rubber stamp made out of your face. No, seriously. You can do this now. You have a face meant for stamps.

HEAR ME ROAR

A Gadget That Sounds Like an Engine

Every once in awhile, you’re forced away from that 450-horsepower behemoth you call your ride—you’re riding a bike, you’re walking, you’re stuck with a crappy 400-horsepower rental car. Fear not: plug this into your cigarette lighter, and reacquaint yourself with the familiar roar of a V8 engine. Which is far less embarrassing than making the sound yourself.