Eastern Promises
What Happens in Krakow...

Every once in a while, we come across something so twisted, so depraved, so…Polish, that we can't help but want to share it with you.

It involves kidnapping.

In Krakow.

Welcome to Crazy Stag, your new concierge for multiday explosions of Eastern European mayhem, taking reservations now.

Where do we begin… After they help you with the basics (like finding somewhere to stay), they'll set you up with anything you and your friends can imagine—though their suggestions include a trip to the shooting range, where your weapon of choice will be a Kalashnikov. (You might need it later…)

But the real coup de grâce is what they call the "stag kidnapping." We can't say too much, but here's what's key: you'll be woken up in the middle of the night by two gruff members of the state police (…or are they?), who will blindfold you, drag you into a dark-windowed Volga, take you into the middle of nowhere and then harass you in broken English sprinkled with a bit of Russian for good measure. (We're pretty sure you'll make out the word "mafia.") So far, a typical Saturday night in Krakow.

But depending on what you and your friends are up for, things only get crazier from there. We're sworn to secrecy, but we've heard rumors that involve some pretty ferocious dogs. The craziest of all might be the simplest: they'll take you to a forest, open up the car, drop you off and leave—basically, the Polish Survivorman.

Only that show didn't end with strippers.