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Published November 07, 2011

Flight School
Like Driver’s Ed for Jetpacks

Jetpack SchoolJust a wild guess here, and please feel free to correct us if we’re wrong, but...

You probably never got around to jetpack flight school.

Let’s fix that.

Pack a lunchbox for Jetpack School, where you’ll get the finest jetpack education money can buy, enrolling future rocketeers now.

It’s come to this. In your insatiable quest for thrills, you’ve decided that nothing will do except the feeling of untethered, open-air human flight. The problem: jetpacking isn’t anywhere near as easy as Sean Connery led you to believe in Thunderball. You need a wise master. And as far as we know, there is exactly one such man on earth: Eric Scott, world-record-holding jetpack pilot and your instructor. (Also: possessor of the world’s greatest business card.)

Once you take care of the small matter of obtaining your own jetpack (maybe you’ve already got one lying around), you’ll call up Eric, who’ll fly out to you to share his wisdom. Find a patch of open land and let the lessons begin. You’ll learn to manage the thrust and keep yourself balanced (expect to spin and fall a lot) while roped to the ground (trust us, it’s for your own good). You’ll practice until Eric deems you ready for a solo flight (a few days ought to do it), and then...

Probably crime-fighting.
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