If you’ve heard of watches and enjoy them, keep reading.

If you’ve heard of watches inspired by a devilishly handsome and well-dressed 17th-century gentleman named Richard Brathwait, you were definitely skipping ahead.

But if you still want to keep reading, we’ll allow it.

Ready your wrist for Brathwait, a new mélange of minimalist timepieces inspired by the guy who wrote the book on being a gentleman, available online now.

No, really. He wrote The English Gentleman. And if he were to offer up an abridged version, it might read something like: “Act with dignity. Also, wear the right watch.”

Before we move on, let’s briefly visit the fine print. These things are equipped with...

—Sapphire glass, which can only be cut by a diamond.
—Rose gold plating that’ll last longer than you.
—Leather or nylon straps in green, blue or purple with a thin red stripe.
—Gears and parts and other watch stuff.

And now that you’re one step closer to becoming an English gentleman, this is the part where you put one of these on, lay your jacket down in a puddle for your date and attend some sort of gala at an art museum.

Tacos could be nice, too.