Ouch.

This could get ugly.

It’s probably time to start thinking about safe places to put your money. Gold. Your mattress.

Or maybe just a sharkskin wallet.

Introducing Vvego International, handmade wallets and cufflinks made of basically whatever the hell you want (including Jaws himself), available online now.

Think of each of these pieces as a snowflake that holds your money or keeps your shirtsleeve fastened. One-off cardholders made with things like tropical-patterned stingray and lined with materials usually reserved for Lamborghini hoods.

It starts, as such things sometimes do, in Alabama. You’ll talk to a fellow named Robert about designing the wallet of your dreams. If that happens to include elephant, he’ll find some legally sourced elephant skin (he knows a guy), work with you on a shape design and detail materials, and have it to you, usually, within 10 days.

Also available: a handsome set of predesigned versions made with vegetable-tanned leather or titanium they forged in-house. But if you’re especially bent on originality (and really, why wouldn’t you be), he’ll even sign a contract stating he won’t ever make another piece like yours again.

It’s good to get these things down in writing.