Here’s a thing about a thing that goes on your bike.

Oh, settle down. You know it’ll get better.

Ready, here goes: meet Cobi, a combination smartphone app and handlebar-mounted computer system that makes your steed smarter, more productive and just a little bit sexier than it was before, now available for preorder.

This basically turns the handlebars of your bike into a command center. The main component is the front headlight that also holds your phone. So you’ll go ahead and stick that on there. Then stuff will happen.

One scene might play out thusly:

You race home down a side street after work. On your phone’s screen: your speed.

Unless, of course, you have an impending turn. Then it’s a map telling you which way to go.

It alerts you that a friend is calling. Normally, answering would seem dangerous. But you don’t flinch this time because at your thumb: some control buttons.

Press one.

You answer and agree to detour for cocktails.

You arrive at the rendezvous point, disconnect your phone and lock your bike. The anti-theft alarm enables. Trust it.

Then you check your stats—calories burned. Heart rate. Cadence.

Then you’re pretty much done with the thing for a while.