We’ve put this talk off long enough.

You see, when two people love each other very much, they get close.

And they unite in a way that’s meant to bring something new and beautiful into the world.

And when two sports love each other...

Well, you get Teqball, a new and symbiotic union between ping-pong and soccer. It involves important innovations in the field of leisure studies, a specialized table that’s available online now... and you.

This is going to revolutionize soccer. Or ping-pong. Or tables. We don’t know. The future is uncertain because it’s so new.

There’s no field—just a concave-shaped table. And there aren’t 22 players—just two or four. And it’s played a lot like ping-pong—just without paddles. And somehow, Christopher Walken hasn’t starred in a movie about it yet.

There are a few rules, but essentially you’ll kick the ball back and forth over a plexiglass “net,” bounce it on your head and do tricks. If you’re terrible at those things, you lose. If you’re great at those things, you win.

And if you don’t even try, you... actually still win.