Hey, you know what sounds nice right now...

Lazing away on some glassy lake under the sun.

Yeah. Nothing but you and some swans and a lovely co-captain feeding you tea sandwiches.

And if you happened to be on a totally authentic Viking ship, all the better.

Related: a dedicated team of craftsmen who live in the ancient Nordic capital of Roskilde are fully prepared to make you A Viking Ship. Yes, this is real life. And yes, they’re taking custom orders now.

The guys behind this, Culture Nordic, curate Nordic goods from places like the National Museum of Denmark. They’re serious about this stuff. So when you tell them you’re tired of not having a Viking ship for no reason, expect some questions.

Like whether you’d prefer them to use modern tools or things like handmade ropes, iron nails and axes. And whether a smaller 20-foot vessel or a giant one with 14 oars suits your ancient Nordic needs better. Which you suddenly have. You have ancient Nordic needs now.

And think of the possibilities. Slap a motor on the back and have a very unnecessary ski boat. Sail up to a random houseboat party and act like everything’s normal. Host grog tastings.

Well, this got out of hand.