Gear

Hey, Tubby

A Floating Hot Tub

None You remember summer.

It’s that jacketless, rock-skipping Shangri-La of wheat beers, rooftops and general not-being-inside-ness.

Well, it’s coming back for a sequel this year.

And here’s how you’ll win at it.

Take a good, hard look at Hot Tub Boats, which are of course hot tubs that float and move through the water, launching this summer.

Look, it’s very simple. This thing is a buoyant, water-jet-filled tank with a slatted wooden deck, two coolers, some dry storage, a remote-controlled motor and 104 degrees of hot pleasure. It’s the answer to the question, “What if you took a boat and just slapped a hot tub in the middle of it?” International waters will never know what hit them.

Allow us to paint a picture. You’re on some idyllic, conifer-lined lake. Sprinkle in some mountains on the horizon. Yachts are everywhere. And sure, they’re impressive. All the vessels on this lake are competing for the affections of a nameless Mary Ann sitting on a lonely dock with her tanned legs dangling off. The yachts pull up one at a time. And then, 20 minutes later (it’s a small motor), you make your grand entrance, casually sitting in a floating paragon of carefree relaxation. It’s an easy decision.

And you’ve always wanted to be called The Professor.

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