There’s been a lot of gossip going around lately, so we’d like to set the record straight: these chess pieces are not to be used for sexual purposes. We’re 99% sure.
Introducing Kiki de Montparnasse’s Chess Set, a set of 32 immaculate chess pieces that have been unfairly maligned as instruments of pleasure, available now.
Honestly, this is just a mild-mannered chess set that’s fallen victim to some vicious rumors. The pieces are a little abstract, sure—but that’s just art. Pay no attention to the suggestively ribbed bishop, or the rounded queen that bears a strange resemblance to a certain object typically kept hidden in bedside drawers.
And it probably doesn’t matter that the pieces are all made from heat-conducting metal, so the banana-shaped rook will heat up as soon as you touch it to her body. (Your hand... We meant your hand.)
Of course, it was made by Kiki de Montparnasse, upscale vendor of luxurious but scandalous goods, so you know that beyond all the naughtiness you’ll still have a handmade walnut game board and 32 matte and glossy metal mini-sculptures to fill it.
What you do with them is up to you.
