Phoning It In
Teleconferencing by Robot

It’s a typical Wednesday.

You’ve got lunch with the prime minister of Sweden. A 6pm massage appointment on an unmapped Caribbean island. And an afternoon tour of a champagne-and-skee-ball emporium in Queens.

Clearly, you need a few robots.

Introducing Anybots, a new line of robot stand-ins designed to take your place at can’t-miss appointments, available now.

Lookswise, this thing is HAL on a stick—a white plastic videophone on a six-foot tube, with Segway-style wheels and, of course, an optional bow tie. (In case it’s a very formal can’t-miss meeting.)

So say you want to keep up your presence in Swedish Parliament without missing your daily suntan-lotion-applying appointment with Sofía Vergara. You’ll log in to Anybots and connect to the bot you’ve conveniently shipped to Stockholm, then steer it to the prime minister’s office with your keyboard. When the conversation inevitably turns to meatballs—turns out, Sofía’s are delicious—you’ll click to activate the on-board laser pointer and guide him through her recipe.

We should warn you, the thing costs $15,000—but when you’re justifying it on an expense report, just tell them it’s no more than high-end teleconferencing.

And slip them some of the meatballs.