Food & Drink

Coffee Not Included

The Hot List: Mail-Order Donuts

Welcome back—we hope you had a good weekend. And if you're hungry, maybe a little hungover, and your mind's wandering, we have good news. We want to tell you about one of humankind's greatest long-distance achievements (along with the remote control and sexting): the mail-order donut. Because while it's too late to prevent today's suffering, it's not too early to prevent tomorrow's.

OLD-SCHOOL

Stan's Donuts

This LA institution has been frying dough since 1965, and Stan himself still works behind the counter. His oversize, sugary confections arrive individually wrapped in wax paper, like a box of cheeseburgers (and with a similar calorie count). Try the famous Peanut Butter Donut—a chocolate chip-covered, paw-sized monstrosity, with a thick patty of Reese's peanut butter hiding inside. Which is good, because dunking into the peanut butter jar just gets messy.

AS YOU LIKE IT

Sweetwater's Donut Mill

If you somehow can't find what you're looking for on Sweetwater's expansive menu, they will—ingredients willing—create custom pastries to quiet your craving. They arrive plump and gooey, each donut wrapped in cellophane—when the soft icing clings slightly to it, that's a fresh donut. We suggest the yeast-raised New York Cheesecake Donut, or the Vanilla-Filled Longjohn. Or as you like to call them: breakfast and dinner.

STEALTH HEALTH

Holey Donuts!

Chances are, your female acquaintances have already heard about this, but in case they're not the sharing type, allow us to intervene: we've finally found the tasty, healthy donut. (Well, healthy-ish.) These aren't fried, but prepared with a "special patented cooking process" (we hear it involves unicorn tears), and contain no trans fats or artificial sweeteners. They're delivered flash-frozen in a cooler with dry ice—just defrost, gorge, repeat.