Food & Drink

It’s Madness

March Madness Finger Foods: A Guide

Whoa. How’d that happen? March Madness already. You should probably have some regionally important finger foods delivered to you pretty soon. Like alligator nuggets and stuff. Game foods. Anyway, nothing against Kentucky, but somebody please beat Kentucky.

FIRST HALF

Wings from Kansas City, MO

What: A big thing of drumsticks and wings from Kansas City’s oldest bar and grill. They’re known for how big they are and also for how not un-delicious they are.
Why: Kansas City tends to have a knack for such things. And apparently crazy little women, but this is about wings.

HALFTIME

Gator Nuggets from Natchitoches, LA

What: Bite-size pieces of former alligators that have been repurposed into breaded nuggets that you can eat with your mouth. They taste better than that sounded.
Why: So poppable. They’re so magically poppable.

SECOND HALF

Pizza Rolls from Morgantown, WV

What: Slices of pepperoni that have been placed just so into some soon-to-be-flaky dough before being baked to golden-brown perfection. Morgantownians swear by them. They may not call themselves Morgantownians.
Why: On the off chance you didn’t catch the fact that they’re pizza rolls... they’re pizza rolls.

OVERTIME

Salsas from San Francisco, CA

What: Three salsas from one of San Francisco’s most praised Mexican restaurants. There’s a serrano-tomatillo, a habanero and a house one.
Why: Something about how people who don’t serve salsa at March Madness parties get “banished from the kingdom” or “haunted by clowns.” Not sure, but there you go.

AFTER-PARTY

Fried Pies from Blue Ridge, GA

What: Maybe it’s Round 1 and your bracket’s already blown. Maybe it’s the championship and you won. Either way, you should eat dainty apple, sweet potato, blueberry or peach fried pies from an apple orchard in Georgia.
Why: People eat dainty pies when they watch college basketball. Common knowledge.