Food & Drink

Animal House

Five Alternatives to Thanksgiving Turkey

Seventeen days from now, you will find yourself in the company of family, friends and—if tradition has its way—a whole lot of turkey. Yep, we said “if.” Because there are a lot of good animals out there vying for the title of your Thanksgiving centerpiece. And if one of them happens to be an alligator...

GATOR AID

A Whole Alligator from Louisiana

What You’re Getting: An entire American alligator, skinned to order by some seasoned experts in this kind of thing deep in the Louisiana bayou. Cook for five hours at 250 degrees; serve with gumbo and Duck Dynasty reruns.
Tradition Breakage Level: 9. Alligators are basically the opposite of turkeys.

GOOSE GOSSAGE

A Fresh Free-Range Goose from Boston

What You’re Getting: A 12-to-16-pound goose that enjoyed a happy existence grazing on a picturesque free-range goose farm. And is about to enjoy a less happy existence on a silver platter next to the mashed potatoes.
Tradition Breakage Level: 4. Thanksgiving goose is the new Christmas goose.

SOMETHING FISHY

A Sockeye Salmon from Seattle

What You’re Getting: A rather sizable pre-filleted wild sockeye salmon straight from the Pacific Northwest. It’s known for its high omega-3 content. Not so much for being stuffed with stuffing, but still.
Tradition Breakage Level: 5. Salmon is basically the turkey of the sea. Whatever that means.

SMOKING SECTION

A Massive Smoked Brisket from Brooklyn

What You’re Getting: A gargantuan slab of Texas-style smoked brisket, shipped ready-to-heat from New York City’s reigning brisket champion, Delaney Barbecue. And one of their bourbon pecan pies, because you like those, too.
Tradition Breakage Level: 8. Unless you’re from Texas, in which case, 1.

PARTRIDGE FAMILY

A Red-Legged Partridge from Scotland

What You’re Getting: An adorable little red-legged partridge... that was hunted for sport on an ancient estate in Scotland. It only serves one, so make sure you get more than one. Also: a pear tree seems appropriate here.
Tradition Breakage Level: 2. At the end of the day, these are just mini turkeys.