You don't ask much from your mornings.

Bacon. Coffee. A little maple syrup. But occasionally time gets scarce, and you make sacrifices. Heartbreaking sacrifices.

But there's something you can do about it. No, not getting up earlier—let's not get crazy. But by putting all of those things in one hot, brewed, easily consumed cup of joe.

Welcome Boca Java Maple Bacon Morning, a curiously efficient concoction that brings together syrup and bacon in roasted coffee form, available now.

Think of it as your three favorite food groups all in one place. (Feel free to add your fourth, whiskey, on your own time.) Just be prepared: from the moment you open the bag, your world will begin smelling of java, savory smoke and syrup, and it's going to be intoxicating. You might want to warn your neighbors.

In fact, once this stuff is brewing, that unmistakable potpourri of sweet, smoky coffee will only get more intense. Then, when you finally sip, you'll first detect a sugary (but not sticky) taste of syrup. After that, you'll get hit with a full-bodied, smoky flavor—that's the unmistakable taste of bacon, made all the more miraculous by the curious fact that no actual bacon's involved. The bastards.

Not that we really mind.