Getting Baked
Cookies That Look Like You

There comes a time for putting away childish things.

For taking full responsibility for your actions. For thinking about your future.

But not today. Because today, we’re going to talk about putting your face on a cookie.

Introducing Parker’s Crazy Cookies, a bakery that defies the laws of nature by creating cookies that look exactly like you, baking now.

On a molecular level, these are pretty basic. They’re just plain old sugar cookies. No frosting. No sprinkles. In fact, they kind of look like large-scale animal crackers. But don’t be fooled: this is art. These confectionary virtuosos are going to capture your very essence (and any adorable dimples you might have) in the welcoming, delicious form of a baked good.

All you need is a picture, an email account and an unquestioned desire to have at least 150 You Cookies in your image (they’re not going to just make you one). Once Dave, the owner, has the picture, he’ll get to work on your doughy caricature—down to any chapeaus or creative facial hair you might be sporting.

In two or three weeks, you’ll have your cookie army, divided into regimens (bags) of six. And all you’ll have left to achieve in life is to figure out a use for them.

We’re thinking business card substitute.