The Big Boom
Like Inhaling an Energy Drink

This week’s shaping up to be a doozy.

Board meetings. TPS reports. And to cap it off, a high-pressure wine date on Friday. Atop Mount Kilimanjaro.

So we understand if you need a little boost. And we understand if you’re considering something you take in through your nose...

You know, like Boom Boom, a new energy boost you inhale, available now.

Your mouth has had espressos. Your ears have had the vocal stylings of Steve Perry. And now your nose has... an inhalable version of an energy drink.

You’ll dig out a capsule—about the size of your girlfriend’s lipstick—and put it to your nose. Just like an inhaler, you’ll take a few sniffs up each nostril and instantly receive a kick of energy in exchange for just a small price of your dignity. Your flavor options include Berry Breeze, Cinna-Mint and the pineapple- and grapefruit-infused Tropical Rush. (Slow-stewed beef stroganoff is presumably still in development.)

As the vapors flow directly into your central nervous system and interact with the delicate nerves surrounding your brain, a bunch of effects from the mysterious Asian apothecaries will take hold: your mood and focus will improve. Your appetite will be suppressed. And even your breath will be freshened.

We’re pretty sure this is Keith Richards’s secret.