Fish Story
The First-Ever Salmon-Flavored Vodka

Some great scientists—okay, it was Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park—might tell you that just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

Clearly he’d never heard of salmon vodka.

Introducing Smoked Salmon Vodka, a scientific breakthrough in spirit distillation that tastes almost exactly as you would imagine, available now.

Basically, if you always thought that the key ingredient to a perfect martini was lox, this is for you. It’s vodka and salmon cold-infused for the first time. Actually, the second time, but let’s not discuss Moscow’s failed Salmonka Experiment of 1972.

Now, when you introduce this to your guests—say, when you’re making Bloodys, breaking tomorrow’s Yom Kippur fast or christening your new shark tank—you may encounter resistance. Tell your friends to rest assured: the formula underwent rigorous scientific testing by a team of mixologists, chemists and at least three wild Alaskan moose before being deemed consumable by humans.

The look: like vodka, only pinker. The taste: like vodka, only... fishier. Again, you probably want to cut this by putting it in a Bloody... or a bagel. But if you’re feeling bold, sip it neat. The booze comes on smooth—this stuff’s distilled with glacial ice—but once the chilled vodka slides away, you’re left with an unmistakable whisper of smoked fish.

Chase with a fresh lemon wedge.