12/30/09

Good Times...
The Best Moments of 2009

In the past 12 months, some truly amazing things have happened—and some of them didn't involve historic inaugurations, planes landing on the Hudson or unprecedented economic collapse. Instead, they involved scotch, showgirls and Nic Cage (sadly, not all at once). Here, the best of those.

APRIL 11: BIRTH OF AUTO-TUNE

The News Got Auto-Tuned

Politically, this year was action-packed—tea parties, Afghanistan, governors "hiking the Appalachian trail." But what it was not, was musical. And that's where this brother duo came in: Through a series of videos where they rapped, T-Pain style, over news clips from CNN and the like, they made Nancy Pelosi the biggest hip-hop muse since Rihanna. And really, that was long overdue.

APRIL 20: BALE FAIL

Christian Bale Freaks Out, the Remixes

We really should have seen this coming: Within hours of Bale's on-set meltdown—the one where he somehow turns "you're a nice guy" into a threat—leaking to the web, an intrepid DJ named RevoLucian (why yes, he is from LA) remixed it into the dance music equivalent of an Andrew Dice Clay cassingle.

AUGUST: JACK ATTACK

Jack Nicholson's European Vacation

In his 72nd year, Jack continued doing what he does best: making you jealous as hell. He didn't star in any movies, but in a series of vacation photos—where he's swimming, smoking, scoping out French girls and generally looking like he doesn't give a damn—he helped us forget about The Bucket List.

OCTOBER 6: THE SHOW GOES ON

Apparently, Showgirls Sequel in the Works

We're not sure what was going on in October—we remember hearing the words "health care" a lot—but we somehow missed this earth-shattering piece of cinematic news: a German director is following up the legendary masterwork with a sequel. Sadly, Jessie Spano's not involved.

NOVEMBER 16: SCOTCHY SCOTCH

Scotch Liberated From South Pole

In 1909, Ernest Shackleton tried and failed to make it to the South Pole. But he left a smart marker: two bottles of scotch. In 2009, a New Zealand group decided to retrieve those bottles. Experts say the century-long ice burial won't substantially change the whiskey's original flavor, but we're still willing to give it a taste.

NOVEMBER 18: PIRACY

Nicolas Cage Visits Real-Life Pirates

It sounds like the beginning of National Treasure 3: The Pirate's Revenge: this fall, Nic Cage toured a Kenyan prison, where he met with some captured Somali pirates, who—we kid you not—performed a choreographed dance in his honor. All of which was only slightly less baffling than his haircut.

ALL YEAR: BEARD PAPAS

Crazy Actors Grow Crazier Beards

This year, it seemed like if you knew someone who made his living in the acting arts, there was a 50-50 shot he would grow a beard worthy of a robber baron and go absolutely nuts. Randy Quaid got busted for skipping out on a hotel bill, while Joaquin Phoenix did his best impression of catatonic Santa. Emilio Estevez, we've got our eye on you.

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