Here’s where we distill our expert Internet-consuming abilities into a concise list of 10 daily bons
mots for you to casually deploy into any conversation you feel could use some timely pop-culture insight.
It’s a service we call: The Cooler.
1. “In 2066, the Super Bowl can be viewed on Mars and the beer will cost $17. Yeah, the beer part sounds pretty probable.”
2. “John, it’s going to be okay. You knew Iggy Pop wasn’t going to be making albums forever. We’re here if you need us.”
3. “I don’t know if Bernie Sanders gets my vote. But Larry David as Bernie Sanders in a mini Curb episode gets my vote.”
4. “If you thought Draft Kings was sketchy, you should find out how they run sports betting in prison.”
5. “So Leo’s going to do another three movies with that guy who wrote The Revenant. I wonder who the bear will be working with.”
6. “Nothing says ‘Let’s get ready to play some football’ like the sweet chords of Coldplay. That was a joke.”
7. “No, Jill, I never watch the Super Bowl. I just watch all the ads at once the day after. Was there a cross-dressing Willem Dafoe this year? Wait, don’t tell me.”
8. “I don’t care what you say, Steve, my tie looks cool this way. GQ told me so.”
9. “Did you hear that the McDonald’s of Canada will be the first to sell their kale salads? Yeah, I’m thinking of a good Canada joke right now. Just give me a minute.”
10. “Listen, if Elton John and James Corden can sing ‘The Circle of Life’ in their car pool, I can damn well sing it in ours.”
1. “In 2066, the Super Bowl can be viewed on Mars and the beer will cost $17. Yeah, the beer part sounds pretty probable.”
2. “John, it’s going to be okay. You knew Iggy Pop wasn’t going to be making albums forever. We’re here if you need us.”
3. “I don’t know if Bernie Sanders gets my vote. But Larry David as Bernie Sanders in a mini Curb episode gets my vote.”
4. “If you thought Draft Kings was sketchy, you should find out how they run sports betting in prison.”
5. “So Leo’s going to do another three movies with that guy who wrote The Revenant. I wonder who the bear will be working with.”
6. “Nothing says ‘Let’s get ready to play some football’ like the sweet chords of Coldplay. That was a joke.”
7. “No, Jill, I never watch the Super Bowl. I just watch all the ads at once the day after. Was there a cross-dressing Willem Dafoe this year? Wait, don’t tell me.”
8. “I don’t care what you say, Steve, my tie looks cool this way. GQ told me so.”
9. “Did you hear that the McDonald’s of Canada will be the first to sell their kale salads? Yeah, I’m thinking of a good Canada joke right now. Just give me a minute.”
10. “Listen, if Elton John and James Corden can sing ‘The Circle of Life’ in their car pool, I can damn well sing it in ours.”
