A warning:

After reading this, you might never look at art the same way again.

It’s about a woman. Who makes paintings... Without picking up even a single, solitary paintbrush.

Introducing TurtleKiss, home to the world’s finest (and possibly only) artwork painted with a woman’s 38DD breasts.

Consider it the next logical step in a progression that began with the first cave painting of a naked woman. In short, it’s an artiste in Hartford, Connecticut, who uses her curvaceous assets to create wild paintings with a stunning degree of... originality—abstract works in the style of Pollock or de Kooning, but, you know, bustier.

To obtain such a momentous piece of art, you’ll proceed in one of two ways. One, just sample the works she has on her site, and pick your favorite. (We have our eye on New Hope #161.) Or you can pick a style, and commission a specially created new piece. (No, you don’t get to watch the artist at work.)

And then, you’ll have a museum-worthy masterpiece, ready for hanging between the Picasso and the Dogs Playing Poker in the grand foyer.

It’s the finest intersection of art and breasts since Miss June 1987.