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Your Next Massage: Beer

Today it’s Monday. Which means you could use a massage. And you could also use a beer.

We just got a crazy idea...

Presenting The Beer Massage, one of three hops-related treatments at the Atlantic Hotel spa in Fort Lauderdale, available starting this Wednesday.

Now, we realize this may seem a little... wrong. But before you rush to judgment, keep in mind that the Greeks and Egyptians have been using beer for centuries to soften skin, heal battle wounds and encourage cell growth. Plus, beer contains antioxidants, which have been known to soothe sore muscles and even strengthen bones.

All of which should make you feel a little more confident as you arrive in Fort Lauderdale and tell them you’re here for your beer massage. It should feel like any other full-body, 80-minute massage—in other words, pure pleasure—except instead of regular massage oil, you’ll be rubbed down with a scrub made of citrus oils and Bud Light (nothing but the best).

And you’ll be happy to know they’re offering two other beer treatments: a 60-minute Beer Facial and an 80-minute Beer Cocoon, which starts with a beer massage and ends with you wrapped in beer-soaked cloths and sipping a beer cocktail.

Just like that recurring dream of yours...