Food

Secret Service

Dining Around Town. With Your Mistress.

This is for... your friend. The one who’s engaging in questionable dalliances around town with what one might call “a mistress.” So you pass this along to them. Because you’re in need of some private, under-the-radar dining options. Sorry, we meant “your friend.” Honest mistake.

THE BROWARD OPTION

Sardelli’s Wine Cellar

The scene: A converted four-story townhouse with no evident signage. So right there, you’ve got cover. The wine cellar’s located on the second floor. Lots of mahogany. Lots of crystal. Lots of... absent people.
The provisions: Lobster-studded bucatini. Wine. Obviously.
Risk quotient: Nonexistent. You’re in Broward.

THE SKY-HIGH OPTION

The Poolside Casitas at Area 31

The scene: A poolside cabana situated on a 16-story rooftop. The view inside is blocked by a large white curtain.
The provisions: Food and beverage service from Area 31.
Risk quotient: Medium. It’s a curtain, for Chrissakes.

THE OCEANFRONT OPTION

The Beachside Dinner at Acqualina

The scene: Nothing but the moon, the ocean, flickering candles and a table set for two right alongside the resort’s private stretch of sand.
The provisions: A specially catered menu from Il Mulino or AQ.
Risk quotient: Medium. Mermaids have notoriously big mouths.

THE OLD-SCHOOL OPTION

The Red Room at Cafe Prima Pasta

The scene: A blocked-off room used to host high-profile clientele.
The provisions: Bellinis, antipasto and squid-ink linguine made from an old family recipe.
Risk quotient: Low. Walls can’t talk.

THE “RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSE” OPTION

The Chef’s Table at Casa Tua

The scene: A long wooden table tucked behind the shrubbery-laden grounds of Casa Tua.
The provisions: Grilled octopus and paccheri with Maine lobster. The same stuff Sofía Vergara and Cameron Diaz have trysted with.
Risk quotient: Low. If it’s good enough for Sofía...