All Is Vanity
Body English's Younger, Wilder Sister

If you've been especially busy these past few weeks—writing your autobiographical Cirque du Soleil show—you might have missed some things. Important things.

Million-dollar chandelier type of things.

So we'll waste no time in bringing you up to speed...

Feast your eyes on Vanity, a massive, neon-hued tribute to egotism in all its forms, open now.

In short, it's the newly shuttered Body English's younger, even wilder sister. A shimmering hallway/rabbit hole leads you to a wonderland of onyx catwalks and (naturally) vanity mirrors. Look up and you'll see the spot's crown jewel: that undulating seven-figure chandelier hovering over it all, backlit by 20,000 LED bulbs. And if your date wants to freshen up before subjecting herself to the glare, the ladies' room is outfitted with a full-service crew of makeup, nail and hair assistants. (Tragically, gentlemen are left to fix their own hair.)

Here's how we recommend navigating this hall of mirrors: start by grabbing a vodka tonic from the honeycomb-backed marble bar (if it's mobbed, there's another bar downstairs) and scan the attractive crowd for esteemed regulars (and national treasures) like Diddy and Paris Hilton, before finally settling into a velvet VIP booth for the long haul—preferably one with a view of the 6-foot-plus lamps that conveniently double as stripper poles. With a scene this relaxed, there's usually someone willing to give it a go...

This town loves a gambler.