One Stiff Drink, On the Rocks
After a week like this, you need a drink. On the rocks. With haste.
And if you happen to casually redefine the very meaning of "on the rocks" while pouring that drink over some Nordic Rock Stone Ice Cubes, so be it.
Finally revising your watery, wasteful (and frankly unimaginative) ice-cubing habits of drinks past, these stones—supposedly harvested from "ancient Swedish pollution-free base rock"—just need to be popped in the freezer about an hour before your bar-in-residence opens for happy hour. After that, they'll keep your drink cold for...well, longer than you need to empty the glass, so don't worry about it. And since these cubes don't melt, they don't water down your drink.
You can assure your guests that the stones won't melt or erode, so nobody will be getting a margarita with silt. And come last call, just rinse them off, stow them in the leather pouch they came in (really)...and they'll be ready for your next hour of need.
Which is never too far off.