There’s so much going on inside the Roosevelt Hotel, from bars to burger joints to bowling lounges. But you know what they say: a hotel isn’t really a hotel until it’s gotten its 483rd nightspot. With that in mind, we bring you the vital stats on last night’s debut of the new Public Kitchen & Bar:

Average height of hostesses: 5′10″
Minutes after arrival until a charming blonde bartendress asked us to dance: 3
Length of time until a waiter cut in to dip her: 30 seconds
Drinks called “It’s All Good”: 1
Ways to order a round of “It’s All Good”s without awkward turns of phrase: 0
Main ingredient in the Kentucky Brunch: whiskey
Supporting ingredient: apricot marmalade
Beers on tap whose names include the word Leinenkugel: 1
Entrées they suggest improving with an egg on top, from Spice Duck Steak to Colorado Lamb T-Bone: all 10
Cost of a half-pound burger with tomato jam, cheddar, onions, mushrooms and bacon: $14
Paces to 25 Degrees, the Roosevelt’s burger joint: about 25
Framed Union Jacks on the walls: 1
Recognizable character actors whose names escape us enjoying dinner: 2
Percentage chance this will become one of your go-tos to start your nights in Hollywood: 40