The holidays can mean a lot of things: chestnuts roasting on an open fire, dreidels spinning by eight open fires or a nine-day trek through eastern Russia, propelled by a pack of reindeer (possibly near an open fire).

We're guessing you're already familiar with the first two.

Welcome to Reindeer Sledding in Eastern Russia, the most physically demanding holiday celebration outside the Polar Bear Club, taking reservations now.

In short, it's a tour of some of the most barren terrain on earth, guided by the likes of Donner and Blitzen. (Good ol' Blitzen.) You'll start out in Yakutsk (average December temperature: 40 below), where you'll pick up what you need to survive the godforsaken climate—specifically furs, felt boots and a suitably funny-looking hat.

Then you'll jet (i.e., bus) off to a series of increasingly Spartan accommodations (a hotel, a cabin, a tent with a stove) before coming face-to-face with the near-mythical beast who will be steering you through the tundra. The guides will set you up with a sled and two strong-willed reindeer, and you'll cover the next 35 miles over two days, racing through the snow the way Santa intended—with only a quick break in between to sleep, eat and give your drivers time to catch their breath.

Don't let Dasher make a break for the pole.