Published November 20, 2011
Colombia, Pablo Escobar–Style
Colombia. Home to some, shall we say, addictive commodities.
And by that we mean Sofía Vergara’s... hips.
Anyway, you’ve long been overdue for going straight to the source...
Introducing Gold, Coca and Coffee: Colombia’s Dangerous Trifecta
, a 10-day do-it-all trip
that’s heavy on cartel culture and tropical relaxation, taking reservations now.
Now, you get to channel three very different people on this thing. One, Pablo Escobar (or Oliver Stone doing
research for a Scarface
sequel). Two, Mr. Valdez. And three, Gabriel García Márquez. Because we
assume he knows how to get loose.
You’ll fly into Bogotá, get acquainted with the city (and its Gold Museum) and then check out Hacienda
Nápoles, Escobar’s former house and center of operations. From there, you’ll take a private flight to
Medillín to meet with El Capo’s brother (and other cartel experts) before heading to the highlands to
visit coffee plantations—and be guided into a gold mine. It’s all for the screenplay.
If you begin to feel like things are getting a little too real, you’ll
head to your glass houseboat
in the Bay of Cholón, where you’ll scuba dive the Corales del Rosario
archipelago. And when the Cartagena nightlife starts to call your name, well, you’ll call a guy. Who
happens to captain a private speedboat. His job: to pull up dockside and take you to the city on your
Tony Montana would want it this way.
Gold, Coca and Coffee: Colombia’s Dangerous Trifecta