You may have heard about Thomas Foolery, a new place in Dupont Circle striving to be the bar equivalent of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. With game show trappings, food truck chefs, a candy store and... well, let’s just give you some relevant facts and figures:

5: Minutes required for you to take in all the craziness here.

1: Thrones—complete with a crown—on which you can sit and summon your drinks with a walkie-talkie.

5: Food trucks and pop-up vendors contributing to the menu.

2: Dessert vendors (Captain Cookie and Whisked).

5: Grilled cheeses available from the Big Cheese truck, in case you’re not ready for dessert yet.

36: Bottled beers, each recommended by DC locals like the reigning frisbee golf champion.

1-5: Price range, in dollars, of your Smirnoff Ice, depending on how well you fare on the Plinko board.

1: Bedazzler gun, available at the bar for customer use.

6: Cocktail kits, which let you make your own drink from mini bottles and mixers.

1: Types of candy (Pop Rocks, etc.) included in every cocktail kit.

1: Cocktail kits you’ll try before grabbing an Etch A Sketch off the wall.

3: Cocktail kits you’ll try before thinking the hopscotch game on the floor is a good idea.