Captain Kangaroo
Kangaroo Boxing Club, by the Numbers

You can use statistics to prove just about anything. Up to and including where you should seek out your next heaping plate of BBQ. Hence, we bring you this data-rich look at Kangaroo Boxing Club, Columbia Heights’ new, old-timey-looking, BBQ-obsessed neighborhood tavern from the guys behind the PORC truck, opening today:

Year you might think it is when you walk in: 1933
Approximate age, in years, of the fireplace mantel they turned into a bar: 80
Giant black-and-white photos showing, among other things, an early Senate subway and half-built Washington Monument: 6
Number of drunken, late-night conversations that resulted in the name: 1
Number of kangaroos you’ll actually have to box: 0
Number of kangaroos you can eat: also 0
Hours the pulled pork is smoked over hickory and applewood: 16
Number of napkins you’ll need for the smoked Angus sloppy joe: 16
Classic BBQ sides, like gorgonzola mac and cheese and johnnycakes with maple butter: 6
Gallon-sized jars you’ll see above the bar containing liquor infusions like cinnamon and banana in whiskey: 5
Desserts inspired by classic cocktails: 1 (the Margarita Pie, like a key lime pie with tequila)
Number of friends you can fit on the sidewalk-café church pews for your annual Wimbledon fantasy draft: 12
Ounces of malt liquor in the cans of Olde English 800 you’ll be able to order up: 12
Funny looks you’ll get for drinking malt liquor on the sidewalk: unlimited