Those sub-.500 Rangers sure know how to keep our attention. The riveting injury reports. The dramatic late-inning losses. The... clinically insane concessions. Yep, the mad scientists are back at it with a glorious new mix of larger-than-life foodstuffs. And since he’s got some free time on his hands, we asked Prince Fielder* to chime in.<br /> <br /> *Not really. But he would’ve totally said these things.
What it is: They’re a literal bucketful of housemade potato chips covered in gravy,
bacon, cheese, jalapeños and your choice of brisket or chicken.
Fielder’s take: “Sometimes you just need something to snack on in the dugout that’s
not sunflower seeds, you know?”
What it is: A hefty 24-inch skewer of chicken and seasoned veggies laid atop a bed of
rice.
Fielder’s take: “Lots of protein here makes for a good between-innings meal. I confused
it for my bat once. Still got a double. Wash and I had a good laugh.”
What it is: Some would call this a taco. Others would call it 24 inches of personal
challenge loaded with ground beef, chicken and all the usual toppings.
Fielder’s take: “I like to enlist a friend to help with this one. Derek Holland’s
usually a good bet.”
What it is: Take some grilled, marinated beef, top it with spicy slaw and cucumbers, then
stuff all that into a pita. Pretty sure that’s the Korean part.
Fielder’s take: “Nothing beats a good sandwich during the seventh-inning stretch.
Remember to lift with your legs.”
What it is: It’s a balanced breakfast (you’ve got your protein, your carbs) that’s
been speared by a stick and mobilized for in-bleacher consumption.
Fielder’s take: “You guys: it’s bacon, inside a waffle, on a stick. Detroit’s got
nothing on us. Except more wins and a division lead. Still, though: bacon waffle.”
