Nightlife

Fat Chance

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler Here

We suppose you could fly down to NOLA, buy some beads, build a float and hire a jazz band to follow you around the French Quarter on this, the Fattest of Tuesdays. That would be fun. But that would also mean you’d be missing out on all these glorious hometown options.

POLE POSITION

A Burger with Polish Donut Buns

You require: A sizable amount of Pączki Day reverence with a whisper of Mardi Gras debauchery. In burger form.
You’ll receive: Your favorite Polish, pre-Lent donut... which happens to be playing the part of the buns for this Cajun burger. You have a favorite Polish, pre-Lent donut, by the way.

GIGGLE ROOM

The Time for Absinthe Frappés Is Now

You require: Not another f**king Sazerac.
You’ll receive: Okay, fine. But as long as there’s absinthe frappés and Ramos gin fizzes, too. And big band music from a guy named Aaron “Giggles” Getsug. In which case, the Barrelhouse Flat has you covered tonight. Also, Giggles might be a nickname.

SOUTHERN STRATEGY

Let the Crawfish Times Roll

You require: A bunch of little crustaceans thrown on a table.
You’ll receive: An all-you-can-eat crawfish boil from some of this town’s premier crawdaddyers. And very much Abita, because it’s a beer from Louisiana and that’s just what you drink in times like these.

PO’MAN’S LAND

Hurricanes. Po’boys. Probably Dancing.

You require: All the magic that po’boys, hurricanes and DJs can create together.
You’ll receive: A night of revelry from some people you’ve come to trust with your oyster-po’boy-ing and beignet-ing needs. And yes, banana daiquiris and late-night dancing will happen. Hopefully simultaneously.

LAGNIAPP TIME

And Here’s the One with Burlesque

You require: Pasties? Pasties.
You’ll receive: A swanky burlesque revue with a 10-piece brass band. Also, a full-on Cajun menu in case eating food is something that happens to cross your mind, which it won’t because, again, swanky burlesque revue.