Title Track
Untitled, by the Numbers

An unmarked black door. A mysterious basement. A hidden room. A secret stash of rare bourbon... and ice cream cookies. Yes, you’ve heard a lot of intriguing rumors about Untitled, the lavish new speakeasy in River North. And now that the shroud has finally been lifted, we bring you this statistical breakdown:

Days since it officially opened: 1
Average number of girls posing on staircase at any moment: 3
Inches of average stiletto height: 4
Year it feels like in here: 1931
Number of Tin Pan Alley piano players needed to pull that off: 1
Bars: 4
American whiskeys available: 279 (making it the largest American whiskey selection in the world)
Available whiskey lockers in case you can’t finish all of them: 250
Number of cocktails made with pipe tobacco: 1 (Pistol Smoke)
Number of champagnes standing by just in case you’re not that into drinking pipe tobacco: 17
Weeks the 12-ounce rib eye is aged: 3
Berry pies made with duck-fat crust: 1
Calories of a rib eye and duck-fat-crust pie dinner: still being calculated
Time the jazz/burlesque/rockabilly/etc. shows begin: 9:30pm
Amount you should tip your burlesque performer: $10 per pastie