Like You Care
A Gift Has Been Made in Your Name...

We don't want to alarm you. But as of right now, you have a little under three weeks to find the perfect holiday gift.

And by "perfect," we mean one that makes you look like a good, upstanding member of society—and, preferably, requires no actual spending.

Enter Care4less.org, now helping you make charitable contributions in someone else's name—without the do-gooder aftertaste.

Think of it as JustGive.org as reinterpreted by the twisted minds behind The Onion. Go to the site and select one of the eight charities available, fill out the amount you'd like to send (no amount of zeros will be denied), and the email address of your friend/coworker/mother. They will immediately receive an email alerting them that the Foreskin Restoration Society has received a $1 million donation that you've made in their name. (Not recommended for Hanukkah giving.)

Each email comes with a link to a legitimate-looking website explaining fake charity, giving them that necessary sheen of authenticity. Your charity options include Costume-A-K9 ("Let's Make Dogs Look Silly…") and Lost Geriatric Glasses Fund (dedicated to helping the grannies of America find their misplaced bifocals)—aren't exactly what you would call 501(c)(3) eligible. Which means these "donations" probably shouldn't be claimed on your 2009 taxes.

Unless you want a room next to Bernie Madoff.