Clean Slate
How Ron Swanson Would Keep Clean

Well, this is kind of an uncomfortable conversation. It’s about the way you smell.

Spice, musk and—good God, man—we think there’s even a hint of coriander. It’s pretty damn nice. Too damn nice.

Every once in a while, you need to get in touch with your rugged, animal, caveman side. But, you know, a rugged animal caveman who still showers every day.

So we present the Duke Cannon Big Ass Brick of Soap, the first in a new line of personal hygiene products that Ron Swanson would love. Also: Radar O’Reilly.

You see, this Chicago-based company designed this khaki-green three-quarter pound of pure cleaning power in homage to the same brick of soap GIs during the Korean War were given in their kits. It’s even made in the same Memphis factory that made the original.

It’s meant to do two things: get dirt off your body and last a long time. If you want it to attract Hot Lips Houlihan, sorry, that’s your job. You’re just going to have to rely on your bedroom eyes and trademark repartee. Though gin still might not hurt, either.

One word of caution. If you’re using this at the gym and someone looks at you and says, “Damn, that thing’s big,” relax. They’re referring to the soap.

Probably.