Let’s see.

There are secret identities. Skintight outfits. And the occasional vixen with a whip and a cat fetish...

Yes, the dating scene can be, in a word, complex. Or, in another word, scary. Or, in yet another word, stalkerish... because we didn’t mention that the vixen has an unlimited minutes plan—and really wants you to meet all of her 77 kitties.

So before handing out your personal info, we think you should get to know Vumber, a convenient way to outfit your cell phone with a disposable disguise, available now.

Here’s how it works: you’ll visit the site and sign up—there’s a two-week trial, because if you’re using this site, you’re probably not big on instant commitments. You’ll receive a number—you can choose the area code—and link it to the number you want it to pinch-hit for. Someone calls it; your phone rings. And you’ll use it to make calls from the secret phone identity.

That means the next time you’re at the club, you’ll give out this number—because the music is kind of loud and you’re assuming she’s not trying to tell you about her cat. If things take a turn for the strange—like a middle-of-the-night voicemail from Kitty No. 42 kind of strange—all you’ll need to do is dispose of the fake number and get an entirely different number for the next night.

Another bullet, heroically dodged.