Get Low
Keeping Your Secret Photos Secret

Conventional wisdom tells us that the key to a strong, healthy relationship is open, honest communication.

But as your old friend Blago would remind you, sometimes your open, honest communication falls into the wrong hands.

So now is the time for a little unconventional wisdom: The Downlow, a new app that prevents your most sensitive photos and texts from falling into the hands of federal prosecutors—or worse, the tabloids—by using a little NSA-level encryption.

So, a hypothetical: you and a certain... unpaid political adviser. You’re sharing some provocative thoughts on various desirable positions—let’s just say they’re positions on tax-increment financing. And you’re doing so via text message.

You’re interested in these thoughts. Very interested. So interested, in fact, that it becomes necessary for your viewpoints to be expressed graphically. Very graphically. We’re talking full-on charts, graphs and PowerPoint presentations.

Now, you’d hate for local political operatives and garden-variety snoops to somehow stumble upon your naked political ambitions. So both you and your consultant will install Downlow. From then on out, your texts and photos will be encrypted using such complicated mathematical algorithms that all the federal wiretap warrants in the world couldn’t crack them—and those messages will be locked up in a secure location on your respective phones. All you and your consultant have to do is agree on a password.

Consider it your safe word.