Valentine’s Day is a silly holiday, not a competition. Still, if you happen to <em>win</em> Valentine’s Day—say, by securing one of these very specific tables at one of these very specific places—feel free to humbly accept any laurels and congratulatory kisses thrown your way.
You require: A discreet nook for spoonfuls of caviar.
You’ll receive: Cured meats and roe at a clandestine-ish lounge table favored by famous
people. Bonus table options: request #142 or #112 in the main dining room for killer views and a six-course
menu. Caviar is best enjoyed out in the open.
You require: Expert-level seating arrangements.
You’ll receive: A four-course repast, prosecco and a seat at “The Lover’s Table,”
which is tucked away in what feels like an Italian wine cellar. Fair warning: 50 couples have become
betrothed at this very table. Be very afraid accordingly.
You require: A little heat; a lot of steak.
You’ll receive: Not lounge reservations. Because you can’t make those. Though, with a
little finesse, you’ll snag the two club chairs in front of the fireplace and have your steak Diane and
crêpe suzette flambéed tableside. Which is probably more skill than finesse.
You require: Something in the raw.
You’ll receive: Kusshi oysters. Toro tartare. Sashimi omakase menus. All at a table close
to the sushi kitchen, but just private enough so you don’t have to share your romantic whisperings with
the chefs. They hate that sh*t.
You require: That classic combo of leather and pizza.
You’ll receive: A well-worn chesterfield couch specifically engineered so that the two of
you can... well, sit there and eat pizza. They have wine, though, so that’s pretty Valentine’s Day.
