What follows is a conversation that’s not real but is also kind of real:

Us: Did you hear about the new Italian restaurant that opens Tuesday in the Godfrey Hotel called Dolce Italian? It’s from the team behind NYC’s Scarpetta.

You: Neat. But that makes, what, Italian restaurant number 10,947 of the year?

Us: Not really, because this one sort of starts the counter over. Looks really good, too. (Here, have a look inside.) There’s a pervasive mid-century, burnt-sienna, Marcello Mastroianni vibe happening.

You: Right, but did Dolce’s Miami location win “Best New Restaurant” on a show called Best New Restaurant?

Us: Yeah, but what you’re mostly interested in in real life is the expert-level pastas, Neapolitan-style pizzas, branzino... it goes on like this.

You: Good pasta, good pizza, good branzino: check. Now, wow me with Negronis.

Us: White Negronis. Barrel-aged Negronis. And if you’re not sufficiently wowed yet, there’s also lots of red wine and prosecco, but you knew that.

You: Bottom line: I’m going to like it?

Us: Only if you like big, open, up-tempo rooms where you can wave to all your friends when you’re on a date.

You: How do you know my friends will be there?

Us: Settle down.