Grounds Keeper
Wearing Coffee at the Gym

Coffee.

You’re a big fan.

Most days you need a cup before you even put on your pants.

But until now, it’s never actually been in your pants...

Introducing Stay Warm, a revolutionary line of activewear made from old coffee beans, available now.

This stuff looks like the sort of high-tech gear that Tony Stark would wear underneath his Iron Man suit (you know, for post-day-saving Pilates class).

About that high-tech-ness: the makers invented a way to take regular used coffee grounds and turn them into a natural fiber that you can wear as clothes. Oh, and the clothes will actually increase your body temperature by up to 10 degrees (Juan Valdez could not be reached for comment to explain how this happens).

So let’s say you still have a little pent-up frustration from last night’s game and want to expunge the tension via some running. You’ll reach in your gym gear drawer and grab a pair of these compression pants before embarking on one of your trademark 10-mile predawn jogs.

Or just a predawn slow walk to the local coffee shop.