We’re lovers. You know that. But every now and again, something comes across our desks that just seems... suspicious. Because of the tremendous material upside to all our lives if these claims pan out, we at times put ourselves in harm’s way to investigate. Albeit skeptically.

We call it: Skeptical Investigation. (Copyright pending.)

THE CLAIM
That the Ghost Chili Margarita at Poe’s Kitchen is so hot, you can’t finish it without heat-dulling aids of any kind. Like milk, water or sugar packets.

THE INVESTIGATION
At approximately 6:50pm on a recent evening, our intrepid researcher bellied up to the bar and ordered the beverage. He also signed a waiver. The bartender brought out the bottle of house-infused ghost chili tequila (Scoville units: over 1 billion), which was mixed into a margarita using surgical gloves. Here’s what happened next, according to our researcher’s notes:

7:00pm: Took an initial, cautious sip. Tasted a tangy, orange flavor.
7:01pm: Felt an explosion of heat. Like a road flare burning in the mouth. Margarita flavor faintly detected.
7:03pm: Took a second, more generous sip. Felt cold ice. Then blinding heat. Eyes watered.
7:06pm: Licked the rim coated with habanero powder, hot sauce and red pepper. Immediately regretted doing this.
7:10pm: Asked owner if there was actual mace inside.
7:12pm: Took a third sip. Nose began to run. Sweating. Dizziness. And another explosion of heat.
7:14pm: Started chugging milk and water.

THE VERDICT
Our researcher failed. And we’re pretty sure this challenge is impossible. Just deadly.