“Sorry, can’t make it. Wednesday’s my snurfing day.”

You’ve always wanted to say that.

Right?

Either way, now you have Snurfer Boards, the long-awaited fusion of surfing and snow that you’ve been meaning to invent but didn’t have time to invent, now available online.

Like all good ideas, this one can be traced back to the mid-1960s. For a while, they were a thing. Then they vanished. Now mankind is finally crawling out of a long, snurf-less dark age.

They’ve got three models, all of which are made in the US from North American hardwood. The Rocket Red and the Sunburst Yellow are near replicas of the ’66 original, and their color schemes shouldn’t be hard to figure out. But the Nomad’s a redesign with a wider, flat-bottomed base. It’s blue, in case you care.

There are three important steps to ensure proper use: 1) Place board on elevated snow. 2) Stand on board. 3) Hold on to rope while demonstrating the absolute and terrible power gravity exercises over us all. Meaning you go downhill.

Now, your snurfing life begins. You’ll run a snurf shack. Listen to snurf rock. Snurf the Internet.

We have no excuse for any of that.