Real boats are great at floating on water.

Fake boats are better at being bars in rum distilleries.

Drop anchor for Privateer Rum Distillery Tours, your first-ever chance to see the inner workings of a rum wonderland and then drink inside it, now taking reservations for tours and tastings beginning on October 3.

Like all good rum stories, this begins with maritime warfare. In the 18th century, a guy named Andrew Cabot was a privateer, rum distiller and all-around mensch. A few centuries later, another guy named Andrew Cabot (yes, they’re related) started making rum and called it Privateer. These days, it’s the biggest rum distiller in Massachusetts, and you’re now invited to come inside.

You’ll taste and handle raw ingredients like cane sugar and molasses. You’ll see copper stills best described as “huge.” You’ll be surrounded by 120 American oak barrels full of rum. You’ll... probably start feeling thirsty.

Fortunately, it ends at a bar that’s a replica of the USS Constitution’s stern. Feel free to not reference “I’m on a boat” while a flight of rum samples appear. Some will come from different stages of the aging process. Some will be yet-unreleased rum projects.